In this episode, I’m going to share with all of you my interview with Ben Gothard on the Project Egg Podcast. This is about my story of healing, growing, and serving other people as an entrepreneur — and how I became who I am right now.
We will dive into the pain that I experienced during my childhood days and why I still feel unsatisfied despite having all the money I really need in this world.
This is a “tell it all” true story of my life…from growing up with nothing to making lots of money but unhappy, losing everything – getting more unhappy, and then coming out the other end a stronger, happier, and better version of myself.
If you’re having roller-coaster ups and downs in your life right now, listen in and be encouraged.
- The story of Christine Mendoza (00:26)
- An entrepreneur at 19 (01:21)
- Pain in childhood days (03:30)
- The transition to success (13:27)
- Road to true healing process (18:23)
- Quest for purpose in life (22:38)
- Steps to deal with and overcome life’s pain (26:13)
- Best advice for women (31:01)
- In reaching and serving other people (35:11)
- Compassion for everyone (39:43)
- A vision of success (42:04)
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Disclaimer: The Transcript Is And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors
Intro: Hey girls. Hey guys. This is your uncensored behind the scenes look at what it takes to rise above in all areas of your life. If life has dealt you a shitty hand of cards, or if you feel like you need to level up, or if you just feel like the underdog, and you want to let your gifts flourish, well I’m here to show you how. I am your host Christine Mendoza and this is Bawdy Talk.
Ben: 00:00 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Project Egg Show. I’m your host Ben Gothard and today we have the honor of speaking with Christine Mendoza. How are you doing today, Christine?
Christine: 00:23 Hi, I’m good. How are you?
Ben: 00:26 I’m fantastic and I’m so glad that you can come on the show because I’m dying to ask you what is your story?
Christine: 00:33 Um, what is my story? Well, I am a mother and a wife based out of Los Angeles, California. I am an entrepreneur and I have been a business owner since I was 19. That makes 17 years. Um, let’s see. I’m very passionate about, um, philanthropy. Charity works, especially with women and families and I’ve done a lot in business. I’ve been in different types of industries and where I’m at right now is, I’m basing it a lot of it on self-love and motivation and helping other women. Oh, I think that’s me. That’s me in a nutshell, right now.
Ben: 01:21 So you mentioned starting your first business at 19. What’s the story behind that? Because most people don’t start their businesses at that age.
Christine: 01:29 Oh, well I was on my own at 16. I, uh, my, my highest level of education actually right now is a GED. So I was totally independent and moved out of my mom’s house and I was working four jobs. I understood how hard it was just to stay afloat. Like even if I wanted to go back to school or get going into college. I knew that there was a lot that I had to do to even just be able to afford books because I was taking care of, you know, my own rents, my food, my car. So I had gotten some modeling. I was approached by an automotive magazine and I did the cover. And from there my career with modeling kind of snowballed and it was more in the automotive, automotive glamour industry. Um, and like I said, that age I never really wanted to be a model. Yeah, it sounds so like, oh, I never wanted it. I’m, I’m naturally a very shy person. And it was just a more of a means for me because you know, working for minimum wage jobs and just having a really hard time to stay afloat and then move on to the next level. I couldn’t really do that. So with modeling and it helped me, but I saw so much more potential in it because I saw it from a point of view as a business rather than being famous since at that age my goal wasn’t to be like famous or anything. I just needed to get by. So, um, I started modeling at 17 and I saved up enough money to invest into a website. And from there I started my journey on, owning several papers a month, websites, subscriptions, and uh, that was the beginning of my entrepreneurship.
Ben: 03:30 That’s awesome. So I know it might be a kind of a sensitive topic, but if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to lead to you going off on your own at 16? Like how did that, how did that come about?
Christine: 03:45 Um, well, my mother, I have, I have amazing parents there. They’re great. But my mother came here, um, as an immigrant. Um, but she, my uncle was in the military and he had, um, you know, petitioned her to come here for a better life for her. Uh, my father was still in the Philippines and I was actually born, um, here in America, um, being raised by a single mother. And, um, back then, 80s and 90s, she wasn’t sloped first. We bounced around from home to home. But I’m so grateful for my uncle, especially for the navy fate, being able to be a part of America and you know, well, so many more opportunities. So totally grateful for that, men and services. Cause that’s actually the only reason why I’m here. Um, but as a, my mom, obviously she was, um, just, she was a factory worker. It was hard for her to, um, you know, obviously want her own because now she was a single mom pretty much. And we bounced around from my uncle’s houses to another uncles house, uh, because all of her brothers were all, um, in the military. And, uh, she had a chance five brothers in the military. So we basically, uh, just live with everyone cause we were the last to come here. Um, and, uh, it, they took care of us for a while. So my life with them bouncing around at a young age, I never really had a home. Um, it was always like I was living with somebody else’s family and my mom and I shared a room and we, you know, I remember walking to school, um, and as I got older, she was able to get her own apartment. But this time we were still living with, um, another brother of hers flew single.
Christine: 05:41 So we, we helped each other. And my uncle, he helped raise me for a little bit until he had to, you know, it was also in the military then had to get stationed somewhere else. So I remember raising myself once it was just my mom and I. Um, so I went from life bouncing around, not really having a home or a father too, but I didn’t have my uncles, which I’m grateful for it too. All of a sudden, just my mom and I, and she had to hold down the fort by herself. Um, I would walk to school, uh, as an elementary, um, a student and walk home. So she would work from seven to seven every day, 7:00 AM 7:00 PM. And when she would come home from work, she would, um, you know, would be on eight o’clock. Took me in. And that was my life with her. Um, but, she loved me. I know, I know that, um, she did everything for me. Uh, however, it’s hard. It’s really hard to bond when you don’t really have, um, anyone there, I guess the fact talking about it. Cause like, I am so grateful and I feel like, um, that has built me to be so much of a stronger person because, um, yeah, like I think like a lot of my creativity and being comfortable in my own self and my own skin and my loneliness makes me so much of a stronger person as well as a better functioning adult, I would say. Um, because, uh, I’ve always had to just rely on myself and not just like financially or anything else, just basically like my own healing and, um, entertainment for myself. Like, I’m very, uh, creative cause my mind just like thinks like, well I won’t go in the chocolate factory and I’m, I’m always cranking out ideas because that’s all I really had.
Christine: 07:33 We didn’t have TV, we didn’t have all those things that a lot of kids get to experience. So I owe a lot of my success to that. However, I’m going to the teenage years. I grew up in southern California where, um, you know, going into high school was hard because I grew up in a very, um, low-income area where gang violence was very huge. It was in the 90s. And also race tensions were very, very high before, well they’re obviously very high now, but before like it was gangs. So if it’s like, if you’re a specific color or, or if you’re even wearing something that, you know, someone doesn’t like, like you can be attacked. And it was, it was so, um, I said it was such a big, I want to say like culture then because that’s, you know, a lot of people who came during that time were also a first-generation immigrants. So where I lived, there was a lot of like racial wars, tension wars, gang wars. Um, and I went to a school getting bullied for my race, for my looks. I would get into fights. Um, cause I was, I think I was probably one of five Filipinos and maybe one of 20 Asians in the entire high school. So that was hard, especially since I had always had a, you know, pretty developed body and I didn’t look like everyone else. I guess the other Asians. So the other Asians were like, you know, the ones that, you know, you would imagine a model minority as a lot of people would, you know, think about. And I basically looked like this but I had much worse makeup back then. So I was bullied a lot for my race and also my body. Uh, cause I had large breasts and I just couldn’t feel comfortable going to school even though I wanted to go to school and went to school with a 4.2 GPA.
Christine: 09:40 AP student, I was an F student. And the reason why is because I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t focus and I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I’m trying to talk to my own mother was hard because she was already tired from work. And so I didn’t really have, um, I guess you can say assistance or even just a shoulder to lean on or tell me like, you know, um, how can I help you? So I just didn’t enjoy going to school. And from there my mom not really fully understanding cause she never really asked. Uh, we had a, um, we kind of had a rift because of course she and her mind is like, I work so hard and you’re supposed to be an a student. How did you go from this to this and your back or you’re wrong. You know, basically, it didn’t really take the time to help me through it. And back then, school counselors didn’t really care. Cause in those types of communities, um, people were just there to work. I feel like I didn’t have any teachers at the time, nor my principal step in and tell me that, um, they were going to help me. So, I mean, even consciously seeing like 4.2 students becoming an f student in a year, there’s something wrong, but what would he really try? So I said, you know what, like I would just much rather work. And I knew from there, uh, I got my GED at 16. I knew that I, um, was gonna make it. Like I knew that I was successful in my mind. Like I knew that I had a lot of innovative ideas. I knew that I was a forward thinker cause that’s all I ever did.
Christine: 11:39 Um, I felt strong because I was able to always defend myself because I mean if someone tries to attack me then I was never the type to back down. So I said, I think I can actually survive. You know, like I think I’ve been through a lot. So, um, from there I, I started working. Um, I worked multiple jobs. I was a way tress and worked at the mall. I worked at the gym, um, and I worked so well. The Mall, the gym, the waitress in a sunglass store. So, um, and I was able to make some extra money since I didn’t really have a lot of bills then and, and help my mom and I saw how easy it was to help her because she always talked about how hard she worked and she, she was working a factory job. I felt really bad for her body, always geeking. And I have a younger sister who’s nine years younger than me, so, um, I just kind of took it upon myself to, um, be independent, so I’m just not another mouth to feed and be able to also financially provide for them when I can because growing up with nothing, um, I have, I still do have a very good, um, money management since I know how to budget and I am comfortable. I’m happy that way. So, um, you know, since then I’ve been supporting my mom and helping her out and as much as I could. And I retired her 2007 so my mom and my dad, my dad who eventually came back to America. Oh came, came to America from the Philippines, um, ended up working also a factory job. And uh, you know, I’m 2007 I was able to retire them both, so. Okay. But that’s me.
Ben: 13:27 So I’m curious to learn because it seems like there was a lot of pain there in that period of your, you’re in this community, there’s this bullying going on there. I mean there’s really no like support system for you. And then on the other side of it, at the same time, you come out with these skills of being a very self-reliant, very creative and very innovative and, and it seems like, you know, you’re a lot stronger person from having ha from having gone through that. So I’m curious to learn w how did that transition happen and how did you actually make that, make that transition from this is very painful and this is not a situation that I like to now I have these new skills and new tools that I can use to, you know, better myself and into, to make my way in the world.
Christine: 14:27 Um, honestly it’s a process. I feel like, um, when it came to business, I treated it as a business. I didn’t put my, um, personal and emotional into anything, um, business because all I knew back then was to work. Um, and I know how to separate business from personal. I do very well. Um, because I had a drive to succeed, so I didn’t, I kind of blocked out anything that hurt me even though I wasn’t really healed from the beat from, from the beginning. And my process through it, I still blocked it out and performed and executed and I made sure I succeeded because even though, um, you know, I’m good at budgeting, I live very frugally. Um, I still knew in my mind that I have a family too to help and not just that, like I have, um, my dad’s side of the family, my mom’s side of the family. Um, they have relatives still in the Philippines, especially my dad’s side. So although my mom has, um, all of her brothers are, um, you know, here serving in the military, um, you know, my grandparents were still there and my father’s side cause entire family’s still in the Philippines. So I’m actually the first, um, and only one here other than my sister and I and my dad’s side. So, um, I knew that when I became successful or when I started to build myself and, and um, make more money, um, I had to do something to help them because I came here, um, basically with nothing. And I’m lucky, I feel so grateful to have uncles too, help us. However, there are so many people that I love and care about from my father’s side as well, um, that are still there, that don’t really have the means to, to get a better life, to even have, um, running water.
Christine: 16:28 Cause they live on a tiny, tiny little island. Um, everything there is still powered by generator. So, uh, and you have to take a boat, like a boat to get there. There’s no paved roads. There’s those stores, no grocery markets, CVS hospitals. It’s literally just a tiny island and we farm and you grow livestock. And if you’re, you know, if you get hurt or if you’re sick, then you kind of just die because okay, there are no places to go to get help. And if you can afford the boat to, uh, the main island, then, you know, it’s just what it is. And the, the boat trip was like an hour, an hour away. So I just felt, um, like I had a duty to still do something cause I didn’t want to take that for granted. And honestly going into modeling the money was very easy. Um, I felt awkward. Like it was, it was like, um, I worked so hard and I saw my mom work so hard and my dad and his getting paid just to be cute was weird to me. But, um, you know, with that, that’s why I chose to just give back cause I feel so blessed. Um, but when I went into business as far as being, um, entrepreneur and having a staff or having to deal with so many other things besides just being cute, um, I think I was able to pump. I had a little switch, which was my business switch, which I obviously I said I executed, but I was still healing. I didn’t get a chance to really like, um, grow emotionally because I buried it for so long and it’s been a process. Um, um, I started my first business at 19. I’m 36 now and I will tell you I’m still healing.
Christine: 18:23 I feel like there’s still things that I still want to grow from. Um, and I didn’t really start my true healing process until six years ago. So from, from 19 to 30, I kind of just buried it, but I still was obviously hurting. And there are things that I, I, uh, needed to address. But my, I was so obsessed with being successful and from there I became very successful. Um, I’ve invested into many other businesses such as bars, um, nightlife, restaurants, um, in the cannabis industry. I had a dispensary, so I’ve done a lot. I had a men’s clothing boutique, so a lot of these things I did like brick and mortars, but I also did online businesses as well. So when I had, I was juggling a lot and um, I made a lot of money. I lost a lot of money, made it back lots of again, made it back and it just kind of became like a game and I was like, I’m not fulfilled. I’m not happy. What is the purpose? Um, having everything, having so much money to the point where I had a Bentley and homes and, um, an SLS and range rovers and these things that people, they say back successful, I just didn’t like, I didn’t drive our Bentley. I hated it. Um, I didn’t, I have, you know, like jewelry don’t wear it. Um, because after you get that high, well, personally for me of making the purchase and saying, Oh yeah, look at me, I’m successful. I still wasn’t satisfied. I was like, okay, what’s next? You know, so I’m losing a lot. I’ve lost a lot. Like I’ve had seven figure losses and have bounced back from that. And one thing that stood apart, um, was when I lost everything and realized how happy I was. And that’s how I started my journey. Um, I was pregnant with my youngest son, um, this was six years ago and I had lost everything from having [inaudible] everything to having nothing.
Christine: 20:48 And, um, uh, I didn’t want to go back home to my mom. So my husband and I, we, um, you know, got us little modest place but still in a high crime area where I was like, this is like home normal to me. Um, and, uh, I had a, you know, I was pregnant and I realized how happy I was and it’s not that like, oh, I was happy having nothing in a high crime area with kids, but it was more like, um, what I thought broke me and, and made me sad or I thought it was a hardship was actually the birth of my strength. So going back to nothing and living in an area like that. Um, I was like, I was used to it. It was like a community that I was, I grew up with and it was just like a normal day. And I aspire to say like, I felt like I fit in more, but rather than stay there, I knew the tools to get out of it. But rather than go back into investing into nightlife or things that didn’t serve me, I told myself that I wanted to, um, do something that was going to have purpose, basically make my cause my career rather than just make a ton of money. So, you know, being broke again and having a family, that was tough because I had kids and I didn’t want that for my children as well. But it also brought me back to, um, basically accept myself, forgive myself, forgive my past, forgive my parents. I was in, um, you know, abusive relationships before my marriage and I had to learn how to forgive that. Um, and I went through that journey and I’m still going through healing.
Christine: 22:38 So I don’t think we ever truly heal like indefinitely, but, um, I’m still healing and I’m growing. But my purpose now is to, uh, serve, um, and also to help other women because I feel like there’s so many people, especially, um, entrepreneurs like online that talk about like, you get this Rolls Royce get this Bentley, you gotta be rich, this is a success. And uh, a lot of them probably have either never lost everything or probably don’t even have everything, you know, like there’s a lot of these fake ones and I kind of wanted to step up to the plate and say, yeah, like I’ve kind of been there. I’ve been, you know, modeling. Um, I’ve lived that industry, celebrity friends life and that wasn’t fun really. Like it wasn’t really me. I’ve had all the material things that wasn’t fun and kind of coming out there and being open with that and telling people my personal point of view of what success is, I feel that’s important, especially until, you know, women who, who see like the bags and the jewelry and then they kind of swayed a different way. And I feel like when they have that expectation, because everyone else is flaunting material items, they kind of start to conditioned themselves to [inaudible] to chase that where whereas like once you have it, are you truly happy after and um, yeah. So, um, a healing process has been, uh, yeah, for the last few years. But I will be honest and say I didn’t even delve deep into the healing before because I was just so busy with just trying to make it. And even when I kept making it, I said, what’s next? What’s next? And um, I thought that was kind of destructive. Like I was, I was operating, I have an ego and I wasn’t operating out of love. Whereas my first initial reason as to why to why I wanted to be successful with that was to do more charity and help people. Um, I started become bitter with my past, I think, and I operated out of um, ego and uh, and I lost myself and then I found myself again after I lost everything. And that’s where I am today. Long Story.
Ben: 25:01 Well, the long stories on the show are definitely encouraged because I feel like there are so many people who are either on that journey still or may be just starting out or they may be in that place where they haven’t even begun and they need hope and they need to hear from somebody who’s been through it. Who’s, who’s, you know, sounds like, you know, you’ve, you’ve had your roller coasters up and down and, and I mean, you’ve come out on the, on the other side. Um, and, and it seems like you’re, you know, you’re in a really, uh, um, you know, a really, uh, introspective place of, of having done a lot of work and being really aware of those things, you know, so I appreciate that. All that to say, I appreciate the long answers because I feel like it’s really, really helpful for people. Um, I’m, I’m curious about this healing process, especially in the last six years and I want to know like the actionable things that you did to actually deal with it. Because it’s one thing to say, I have, I have this stuff and I’m dealing with it and it’s going to be great. Or, you know, I’m, I’m on this journey. But it’s another thing to like talk about like how do you actually deal with it? What are the, what are the things that you are doing [inaudible] work on, on this pain?
Christine: 26:27 Um, I, I feel like the first step is being honest with yourself. Uh, because a lot of people, you know, basically I want to start to heal or they want to go start the process, but they can’t really accept everything about like their past and themselves and the truth. Um, so that’s actually what’s taken me a while because there are some things that were easier for me to accept. Like, um, you know, just boyfriend’s boyfriend’s like eight didn’t work out. Some of them were, you know, I’ve had a couple of abusive, physically abusive, emotional, financial, abusive, um, toxic relationships. Um, but those were, those were easy to forgive and Ma for me because, you know, like I, I understand why I was in those relationships and I think that’s the best, the first step is to, um, basing them and understanding it and forgiving it, um, me understanding why I was in those relationships where it was because I was alone and I didn’t know, uh, I didn’t have someone tell me that this was wrong. And especially in the type of community I grew up with, that was normal. So I had no one to step in and tell me this is wrong. I just accepted it. And I also, um, didn’t want to be alone because I was always alone. So it was easier for me to have someone while I was working and, and you know, wanting these businesses, uh, you know, they would drive me around. I’ve only be an assistant, but, uh, but they took advantage because I think also from the types of men that I, I probably attracted because I wasn’t, um, radiating self-love then I was attracting those types of very, um, controlling, jealous, aggressive behaviors. Um, and, you know, I feel I do traveling, leave, energy’s everything. So the fact that I wasn’t operating out of self-love and I was more operating on trying to be successful ego, um, I was modeling and you know, to a lots of manipulating types of people, they see someone that’s beautiful, popular on the magazines and, and doing all this and also having businesses that’s like a prize to them.
Christine: 29:00 And unfortunately for me, I fell into relationships with people that were manipulative and saw that as, um, something that they could latch onto because I, I feel like I attracted that myself. I’m not going to blame anyone else but myself because I could have walked away. I could have left. Um, but I didn’t. And I understand that. I attracted that. And I know a lot of people will say like, oh, that’s not fair for you to stay. Cause, um, you know, we don’t attract that. But you know, I really believe that when you’re operating out of like a desperation by, or you don’t really truly love yourself, you will federal for something that you don’t deserve. And I settled and so I should have walked away from the beginning of first time cause you can’t sell, you can’t tell if someone is going to be that way firsthand. You Fall in love and you think that they’re going to be, it’s a great person. Everyone has a mask. And the first time that I saw that there was some kind of um, know abuse, any signs of um, you know, danger. I should’ve walked away but I didn’t. And I stayed. I ended up getting into another similar relationship because I was already broken. So I was already broken from that. Going into another one that broke me even more and I was operating at a lower frequency, which is, um, maybe this is what I deserve or maybe this is just how life is. And I feel so sad for my younger self because I wish I was, I wish I loved myself more enough back then to know that that’s wrong cause then we’ll rent. The more you put up with it and the more you deal with that type of, um, relationship and either you’re just going to keep breaking and breaking.
Christine: 30:58 And breaking and then you lose yourself. So I always tell women, um, you know, like you, you can’t control like, uh, what happens to you? Well, you can control how you respond to it. And, um, when it comes to relationships, the minute that you see someone is toxic, whether it’s the way he speaks to you or she speaks to you the way, um, than other actions or if they’re cheating or whatever, the first time you should know it’s time for you to walk away. And, um, and sometimes these types of predators actually can see that, uh, you know, they can feel that types of, certain types of women are, um, you know, broken and they prey on women like that. So, um, I always tell people, especially women, um, you know, like you can’t, like I said, you can’t control what happens to you, what you can control, how you respond to it and low, like loving yourself first as a first steps to getting into any relationship. Because if you don’t love yourself first and you climb into a relationship and stay in it because you just need someone, and that is a recipe for, um, disaster because how are you going to truly love yourself if you’re just kind of there hoping that someone’s going to love you back? And, um, yeah. So I learned that, I learned that I’m the hard way and I, um, I feel for so many women that go through the same thing because I didn’t know, I wasn’t taught that this is wrong and maybe it’s my social conditioning at the time because of where I lived. Um, and my father and my, my mother, I’m great to each other, so I didn’t see that at home, but I didn’t spend a lot of time at home, so I didn’t know. And I coupled with loneliness, I just, that was, that was that.
Christine: 32:59 Um, but, um, and that’s actually one of the reasons why I’m doing this now, my new projects now because I just want to be able to be voiced because I feel like there’s so many other women empowerment groups and people that just tell you that, um, they fluff it. They tell you like, oh, um, don’t do that. Don’t, don’t stay. But they don’t really give you like the reasons why and how and the mistakes that other people have made or taking accountability for yourself, like not being a victim. Um, I believe I was a victim, but I did it become the victim. I became the victor after I left and found myself and succeeded. And now I have an amazing marriage. I have two children, two dogs, and I’m happy. Um, but it was definitely a process and that was the biggest thing that I had to do was accept everything for what it was. Um, and yeah, you know, like many times we are victims, but you don’t have to stay a victim. You can flip it and, and win out of it. And I feel like those situations make us so much stronger, especially, and my, um, with me, like I can actually talk to people and think of them mistakes that I made and how I was able to, when I’m out of it. Oh.
Ben: 34:25 So I’m curious to learn, and I think about this a lot of, about in, in environments where okay, the, the victim mentality is it’s ever pervasive. Um, it’s so hard for an individual to break out of that and to like to have this realization of, hey, just because I’m seeing this all around me, that doesn’t mean that I have to, that doesn’t mean I have to live that way. It doesn’t mean that life has to be like that for me. Yeah. And I’m curious to learn if there really is no, like nobody’s going to teach somebody that in, in certain environments. How do, like how do we reach those people who desperately need that, that realization because it seems like the ones that needed the most are in a place where they’re not going to find it and they’re not going to. A lot of times those people are not going to think about that to how do we reach them in your opinion? Like what’s the way to get to those people and to help them and to give that, that epiphany, that realization that they desperately need but just aren’t getting.
Christine: 35:44 Um, well for myself, I didn’t have, um, social media then. Um, I was young and um, didn’t even have a smartphone, you know. Um, but nowadays technology is so amazing. Like you can do everything on like my bat or something for everything. And um, since everyone has social media, I think that’s such a good, like a good platform to be able to reach different types of people, even people all over the world because, um, my platforms, I’m able to talk to women who have come from that type of background. Um, I every walk of life from a woman like me to women that are polar opposite. Um, I hear so many different stories from, um, everybody age and walk of life and we race every, you know, everything because of social media. Um, and we do a lot of outreach work. So we work with a lot of, um, rescue centers and women and children’s shelters. A lot of them have, um, women who are homeless with children. And a lot of the other shelters that we work with, um, are, um, women that are escaping, um, abusive relationships with their children. So dueling out w outwork which outreach work, sorry, outreach work. Um, I think it’s a good thing because if you can’t, um, you know, a lot of these women who are already broken, I feel like the best way to do it is just a one on one, like in person. Um, but obviously social media is great too because I’ve been able to help other women just based off of my platforms. So I think that’s important. But if people don’t have like a social media following and they want to continue to help women more, I’m going straight to their local shelter.
Christine: 37:42 And it’s not like a homeless shelter where people think like, okay they’re, you’re feeding that and then your um, cleaning and cause there’s a lot of shelters that are that way. There are many others that are private, um, or church based that you can actually get more of a one-on-one, um, a meeting with them or even just like helping them with, um, talking to them. I’ve worked with the shelter where we’re able to just talk to them. My kids come and play with the kids and they sometimes they don’t even really need it. They don’t want advice at first. Uh, they just want to talk to another woman. So just having someone to talk about like they’re doing at work or like fashion inherited ups because we’re all women, you know, and having my kids play play with the other kids that are living there, it gives them a sense of like, um, normality versus like the stigma of, Oh, you’re in a shelter. Um, so having that helps them and, and through their, we’re able to get more personal with like their story. But it starts from just showing up and I teach my kids the importance of giving back. And it’s funny because the first time I took my oldest, he’s nine now, and I took him to the shelter about when he was about like six. Um, so he’s been going with me and he, he, he didn’t know that. But the, these kids are like him. Like they look like him. They have the same clothes, you know, like I think in their minds, they think like, someone that’s experiencing homelessness is wearing like, you know, like, like rags and which, you know, obviously many that are experiencing homelessness do. But, um, it can be any that you, you can’t really judge someone on their appearance. Um, it can be anyone experienced some kind of, um, financial trouble or hardship, but they just all speak about it.
Christine: 39:43 So I told my kids, um, you know, you see these kids that are just like you and a lot of them probably go to your school and you don’t even know it. And when you see someone that’s sad or going through something or being bullied, you have to stand up for them. And this is why, because people don’t talk about their personal issues. And, um, what, what hurts them cause I didn’t at that age and now that I’m older, I’m able to, but this took me a long time to be able to get to the point where I can talk about it. So with my children, I want to teach them at a young age so that we bear accustomed to like understanding you know, people and they have a heightened sense of emotional intelligence for, for everyone. And um, that way they don’t have to, you know, learn the hard way. They all automatically have that compassion for, for everyone. Um, I think that’s the first step of getting that type of healing out and actually just showing up like physically and you know, it kind of snowballs from there. Oh,
Ben: 40:48 well I think you’re absolutely right in. I’m so glad that we got to have this conversation because to me there’s nothing more powerful than then then talking about this stuff and bringing awareness to this kind of stuff because you’re right, a lot of people, I mean, we all like talking about ourselves most of the time, but you know, when it, when it comes to like the things that really, really deep down hurt, I mean that, that’s very difficult to talk about a lot of the times. And so, you know, I think this message of, hey, sometimes we just need to show up for those people, even though we may not know what they’re going through in a lot of the times, we probably don’t in the beginning. I think that’s a really powerful message and, and very glad that, um, the conversation went this way. Uh, so I just want to, I just want to thank you for that. Um, and uh, you know, I, I want to be very respectful of your time. Um, so I just just have one more question for you then. Um, then we can wrap it on up. Um, but, uh, I’m 24 and I know you mentioned that, uh, you were at 36 earlier, um, in, in show. Uh, the reason I bring that up is because I want to ask specifically from my perspective [inaudible] but what question should I be asking you that I just wouldn’t think to ask?
Christine: 42:04 And, um, I think like, what is your, uh, vision of success? What does success look like to you? Um, now because success, Oh, you know, a lot of people, you know, if they’re watching and, uh, they, they get asked the same question. A lot of people, not all, all, but obviously many people nowadays with them, you know, social media being so wrapped up about like celebrities and material things, success too. Most people are having millions in the bank and having all this material stuff and fame and fortune and, um, you know, I wish I knew that’s true. Success when I was younger was actually, um, loving myself, loving those around me and being able to s to help and heal others and finding, um, you know, finding a business that you can actually be proud of rather than, um, going into business for the pure fact though, just wanting to make money. Um, because I feel like a lot of people who go into business just to become wealthy, they kind of get stuck in a rat race and they’re on this hamster wheel, like forever wanting more. And I was in that wheel for a few years and, uh, I’m lucky enough to experience losing it all to understand that that wasn’t a success. Um, and I feel like a lot of entrepreneurs should also know that as well because I, I know a lot of people who have made tons of money, lost it all and they go crazy. They don’t, they don’t know how to cope with it or many of them, you know, like, just like, they’ve never hopefully gone after that because they, they focused so much on being wealthy and having things that, having nothing was absurd. So they, they just can’t survive. Um, and that’s, that’s something that, um, I ha I wish a lot of people understand that, you know, like what if you lost it all?
Christine: 44:14 How would you, um, feel, how would you feel about yourself? How would your family feel? How would you be able to get out of it? Um, and you know, they don’t really, people don’t really think about it. They just think about like we’re going to be full and violence and stuff. They don’t think about like the end result. Like if they were to lose it all. And for me, um, having, um, you know, my, my family being supportive of like us losing it all cause that’s just how, you know, it was comfortable with but gaining like self love for myself, I healed from my past and um, investing now my business into something more than that. It would help the community, help women, help the world, um, rather than just be some bar owner. Like it just didn’t resonate with me after I found my healing process. So money isn’t everything. I mean, it’s great to have, you need money to survive. Obviously, but I feel like success will always come to you when you’re coming from the heart. You’re operating out of love. Um, there’s no desperation energy cause the moment that you’re desperate to, to do more and make more, you also attract so many more negative people situations and um, and it happens to me. Um, so now that I operate differently and it’s not run by ego or desperation or wanting to prove myself, now I’m just flowing and I would say that this is probably my most successful year yet. So, yeah, so success, I hope people are able to see what success truly is and if success means financial and material, then they need to make a plan to be able to keep that going in case. Yeah. And it’d be okay with it would stifle loving yourself.
Ben: 46:13 Well, I want to thank you so much again, Christine, for, for coming on the show today and sharing this time with me. Um, you know, I’m very grateful for that. So I, you know, I just want to say thank you to you for much.
Christine: 46:24 Thank you. I appreciate it.
Ben: 46:27 And to everybody’s watching, listening, want to thank y’all very, very much. You all are the reason that I do this and I’m, I’m so grateful that y’all chose to be with us today and share this time with us and stick with us all the way until the end here. I think we talked about a lot of important things. So, yeah, thank you all very much. I love you all very much. And Christine, thank you again and I will see y’all on the next episode. Take care now.
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