In this episode, I’m going to share with you my interview on the Young Smart Money podcast. This is going to be a tell-all interview with Apple Crider. We talked about Bawdy Talk, what it does and how it can help women. I had a little flashback of my life and how I became who I am right now.
We then spent some time discussing the dark side of glamour modeling, which is a rarely talked about subject. I talk about how I got into that and how I made it a success without falling into the pitfalls a lot of girls in the industry do.
This is a topic that I reframed from talking about for quite some time but not having lived a normal life in your childhood doesn’t make you a lesser person. The choices that we make in our lives are not always the things we wanted but at that time, the best decision we could ever make. Downfalls are just a phase!
So, stay tuned as this episode encourages you to always put yourself first.
Love you ladies!
- Overview of Face & Bawdy (00:38)
- The flashback (01:13)
- World of modeling (16:58)
- Online marketing 17 years ago (22:13)
- Christine an entrepreneur (25:29)
- The magic number and satisfaction (44:51)
- Always put yourself first (49:37)
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If you haven’t rated and reviewed the podcast, then it would be AMAZING if you went over to [Apple Podcasts] right now and did that!
Disclaimer: The Transcript Is And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors
Intro: 00:06 Hey girls. Hey guys. This is your uncensored behind the scenes look at what it takes to rise above in all areas of your life. If life has dealt you a shitty hand of cards, or if you feel like you need to level up, or if you just feel like the underdog, and you want to let your gifts flourish, well I’m here to show you how. I am your host Christine Mendoza and this is Bawdy Talk
Apple: 00:29 Christine, welcome to Young Smart Money. How are you doing today? I am doing well. I’m excited to be speaking with you today. So our listeners heard a bit about you and what you’re doing over at Face n Bawdy in the intro to this episode. But for those of them that aren’t as familiar with who you are and what you’re working on right now, give us a quick 60-second overview of what Face n Bawdy is and what you’re doing over there.
Christine: 00:52 Well, Face n Bawdy is a website and podcast. We are here to motivate women. Help them with the healing process and also teach them, finance tips. I’m building your credit, business tip. Basically helping women achieve their dreams and be a better version of themselves.
Apple: 01:13 Awesome. Well, I’m stoked to dive into that. But before we do, I started on a flashback in time because I know you have a very interesting story and I want our listeners to get a taste of that. So talk to us about your early upbringing and sort of growing up. Sort of like middle school, high school years and what that time period was like for you. And then how that brought you sort of into the world of entrepreneurship.
Christine: 01:35 I am the daughter of the Filipino immigrant woman. I grew up in Southern California in a very low-income area. I thought I was still in the Philippines and my mother was petitioned by her brothers who are in the US military to have her come here and have a better life. So I grew up in a very, I guess you can say an underdeveloped area. At the time it was like a farming area in Southern California. So a lot of immigrants migrated to that area. So I grew up basically raising myself. My mom works seven to seven since I was far as I can remember since I was seven, eight years old, maybe even earlier. And my memory of that, I don’t really have much, to be honest, other than being alone. And always just, you know, I’m waiting for my mom to come home.
Christine: 02:38 So, that was my memory of my childhood. My mom is a great mother. She worked very hard. But since she was, I’m an immigrant and there was a big, culture clash. Maybe even a generational barrier for or between her and I. We really did relate on a lot of things as I was getting older. Since she worked so long, seven to seven every day. She was always tired from coming home cause she works a factory job. Yeah, that was basically my upbringing with her. My father later came to America when I was 10, about around 10. After my sister was born. We would actually visit my dad every time we had the funds to be able to go back to the Philippines. So I did see my dad in my early childhood years. But it was far and few between, only when you were able to buy a plane ticket.
Christine: 03:43 So, um, I don’t have bad memories with, um, my childhood because I knew what they were trying to do for me and I knew that, um, they worked really hard and they were just trying to provide. So growing up with that and going into high school, I was probably maybe one of five Filipino people and um, out of that like 20 Asians and including us, Filipinos. So, uh, it was, it was hard, because since it was a low-income area and it was a very big, um, uh, I guess you can say in the 90s, it was a lot of um, gang cause like the gang culture. So a lot of like rivalries with, um, races, um, even rivalries with your own race. Cause that was, uh, that was a big culture back then. Obviously it’s still around, but, um, I think the birth of the game, especially gang culture in Los Angeles was around the late eighties and nineties.
Christine: 04:54 And I kinda grew up in the tail end of it, but it was still very apparent. And, um, I was bullied for my race. I was bullied for my body because I’ve, I, I dunno, I developed very early. I developed about when I was 13, turning 14, so I’ve had large breasts and, uh, that was always weird because, you know, 10-year-old Asian girls don’t have big boobs. So I just, I was popular, but I’m not necessarily a good popular because, uh, people were, were weird, like guys were gross and girls were mean. So I was bullied a lot for, for that and even getting, um, attacks, having to fight my way through school, so I didn’t really feel comfortable going to school. Um, because, you know, growing up alone. I wasn’t very social.
Christine: 05:58 I just didn’t really know how people, because I just always just dealt with myself. And, um, going into high school was totally just a different beast because I was becoming a woman or a young lady and I was developing and I just didn’t understand, like why people were mean to me because I just was like, what’s going on? Um, but, I went into high school with a 4.2 GPA. Um, so I was in AP honor student and I, became an F student because, yeah, because I just didn’t like being there. I didn’t like the stares. I mean like it’s not, that all is like so beautiful or it’s the boobs. It’s kids, you know, they don’t, they don’t really see boobs at that age especially. And I even had some Kirby teachers and it was really awkward to just get an education cause one less time would roll around.
Christine: 07:02 Um, I was uncomfortable because that’s when people would try to bully me or try to fight with me, so I couldn’t even eat lunch. Um, comfortably. So were you still going to school or was like, where did, where did the X come from? I dropped out of school at 16 and got a genie cause I did try to, um, keep going with my education, but it became hard because, um, if you’re trying to just deal with being alone and not really having someone to talk to. And then I took the bus, I walked to the bus, then took the bus another 40 minutes to school because where we lived was still like a farming area. So even just to get to school, I had a walk and had to sit on a bus. And then, um, I didn’t really see my family. It was just school and then back.
Christine: 07:56 And then I also had a job after school, so I didn’t really have a lot of interaction with people that loved me. You know, time was really, really hard, so I had to work, but I did want to pursue my education, but that was hard because I didn’t have many friends. And the friends that I did have, um, you know, like I didn’t feel, um, I still didn’t feel like I fit in because, uh, it just didn’t feel like I belonged. I, I just didn’t feel right to me because it was still being judged regardless of someone was nice to meet, you know? So even in my AP classes they would laugh and be like, well, why is she here? Is she in the wrong class? Because they judge me for what I look like. They assume that I was stupid or whatever.
Christine: 08:49 So it was like I was getting it from both sides. I was getting it from the people that her to beat me up and the gang activity and all that. And then the smart kids were like, you don’t belong. So I’m just like, um, so I just ended up failing. Um, I tried to talk to counselors, none of them really, you know, tried to help me and I didn’t really get a lot of assistance with my situation and I just kinda look back at it now being a mom, it’s like, how do you see a child that comes in as well, all of a sudden become an F student within the year and no one steps forward to try to ask what’s going on. Are you okay? Because I didn’t get it. Then back then I was still a child and I thought that this is just how schools were.
Christine: 09:41 I didn’t know, um, that they had more responsibility. I guess I was just a lot more naive. Um, but now as an adult and as a parent, I just looked back and I’m like, wow, it sucks that there are a lot of other kids that go through this and a lot of uh, counselors and principals and teachers don’t care. So, um, max asked me because I look back at my younger self and I wished that I had someone that really, um, was there for me or even just educated beyond what was right and what was wrong and how to actually get the help I needed.
Apple: 10:16 Absolutely. So moving forward in time, I’m curious, when did you start or when did you sort of find a place where you felt comfortable? Because it sounds like throughout that entire period of high school, it was just a lot of discomfort and going from place to place and not really having, like a real secure like space or group of people that you could turn to. So when did, when did you find that?
Christine: 10:39 To be honest, I don’t think I have found it until a lot later on in life. Um, you know, and I got my GED, GED, I was working multiple jobs. Um, at one point I was working four jobs, three or four jobs, but my, my biggest one is for minimum wage jobs because I wasn’t going to school anymore. And I, you know, I was thinking to myself like, I’m never gonna get anywhere. Um, I mean, like, how, how do I get out of this? Um, and although I was working that many jobs, I was still helping my parents because I just felt like that was my duty as your daughter. Um, and, you know, so I was like, well, I need a lot. You know what I need? I need, uh, a future and I can’t work these jobs for the rest of my life being sad and depressed and regretting maybe I would have regret that I didn’t go through school and go to college, but I didn’t want to make those types of, um, regrets.
Christine: 11:48 So I, um, ended up getting into modeling because was actually scouted by a magazine cover. And at first I was really apprehensive because um, you know, like people were bashing me all my teen life for my body and my look. So I just was like, Oh, do I really want to do this because I’m just going to get more of it, you know? And, and I think a part of me was so broken that I said, fuck it. Like people already talk shit to me. People already bashed me. I’ve done nothing wrong to them. They’d been bashing me since I was a child, so I might as well make some money and do it. And so that was the most money I made. And just like an hour or two of shooting for this huge automotive magazine that was all over the world at the time. Um, it was at back then, it was so hard to get on that cover because they were just so picky. It’s not like nowadays with Instagram and social media, everyone is in wall. Everyone can be. But before you actually had to be either scouted or you had to actually earn that title because you already had a resume and you were someone that, um, people would want to buy the magazine, um, for or because, so they’ve never hired girls that had no experience. And, um, I lied. I said I was 18.
Christine: 13:19 Um, but I was really flattered because I knew who was on the covers before and they were these huge established international models and, and as little me, like I was not that cute before. Um, so I was flattered and I just didn’t. And from there, my career just kind of snowballed and I became Christine Mendoza. Um, I never really, when I started modeling, everything happens so fast because, um, people just started hiring me all the time. And I didn’t have time to really think about what bothered me because I felt like every time I would try to, you know, think about things that upset me, I would just go into this, you know, dark place and be depressed and you know, I was living alone at the time and um, you know, I didn’t want to be that person. I just wanted to focus on work.
Christine: 14:14 And so when I started making a lot of money, I got addicted to seeing that number rise in my bank account because I’ve never seen that type of money ever in my life. And I started being able to help my mother more. I have a little sister who is, um, a lot younger and I was able to help her through college. I was able to help her through prom and all the things that I never got to do when I was in high school. The short time I was in high school and, um, I was paying my mom’s mortgage and I felt good because I think I was looking for some kind of validation or acceptance, but that wasn’t healthy because I still didn’t get it. You know, like money. You can make money, you can have money, you can give money away, but, um, you know, you only really, truly feel at peace and happy with yourself when you really do that internal work.
Christine: 15:14 Um, so back then I was just literally trying to buy my family’s love because I fucked up and not went to school and went to college. So even though I was making money and I was, um, successful, um, as time went on, I still had to deal with the stigma of coming from an Asian background where education is so important that people, I mean, I’ve heard of people disowning kids because they don’t get A’s, you know, so it’s hard. It’s a, it’s a culture thing for a lot of us. Um, and, uh, the fact that I have got a GED and I didn’t go to college was the worst thing to my mom. I know, she loves me. I know. Um, you know, like we, we have a cordial, pretty good relationship, but I wish we were able to actually work on things sooner and I wish we had, I had more memories, but I try my best and um, and you know, like I’m, I’m happy with where I am now, but it definitely took a long process of just accepting and healing and moving forward. But, um, it definitely took a long time. Like it wasn’t, it wasn’t, uh, it wasn’t easy, I would say. It actually took me becoming a mom to actually find my own peace. And that wasn’t until I was late twenties, almost like 27. Yeah. So it wasn’t until I was 27 that I actually found my place in the world.
Apple: 16:58 I’m curious to hear more about the world of modeling because that’s not something that I have ever talked to someone who has experience in. So could you fill our listeners in on sort of what that stage of your life look like? I know you said you were really busy, so it was like going from shoot to shoot or like what are, what goes on behind the scenes in, in like the world of modeling?
Christine: 17:16 Um, well I’m, I’m sure I’m five, two, so obviously I’m, I wasn’t a runway model or a um, clothing model. The modeling that I went into was glamour and bikini lingerie, kind of like the um, Maxim style Playboy S bikini calendar type of work. So that’s called glamour modeling and um, you know, tend to have curvier bodies and more of like a sexual innuendo in your photo shoots. Um, I did a lot of co, um, I did some uh, commercial movie work, but I wasn’t that interested in pursuing that because I am not really, um, like a go getter when it comes to, you know, sitting in castings and you know, I’m more of a business, um, minded person. I saw the business side of modeling rather than just getting the fame and, and making the money. Because I feel like since I came to it so young, I got to see girls who went a negative route and I got to kind of just, you know, soundly watched their demise and they got into, you know, a lot of really scary situations because they were living that fast life.
Christine: 18:33 And when you’re, when you’re not stable in your life, not just, you know, mentally and emotionally at that time I definitely wasn’t, but I was stable financially. So I was able to still build from that while working on myself and the fact that I was always smart with money. I never had to rely on a man or a job or I never had to do anything. Uh, I didn’t want to do that was, you know, shady or, or uncomfortable I got to call the shots with, with my job because I’m just, you know, I thought about money before popularity, fame. That wasn’t my goal. Um, so I became a business owner at 19, uh, shortly after I started modeling and that’s actually why I had so much independence and freedom to be my own boss. Whereas I’ve seen a lot of other girls that ended up just doing anything and everything just to make a buck.
Christine: 19:35 And you know, girls that had crazy potential ended up losing it all because they just looped back fast life. So, you know, I started, um, my entrepreneurship with websites. I, um, I had a paid membership website and it’s kind of like the websites that they have nowadays and it’s, so it’s really interesting because back then there weren’t in that were like a paid membership site. Cause this was back when I was 19 and I’m 36 now. So that’s kinda old. But back then the membership sites were either like Playboy or Maxim and these large corporations that actually, um, had these fad club membership sites and, and you know, other girls that were a lot more established and uh, like the, you know, um, Baywatch type celebrities, they had paid membership websites. And I thought like, well why don’t we to like, I thought that potential because it’s like back then people didn’t really, you know, people even just still have, um, um, dialogue.
Christine: 20:49 I don’t know, is that a thing? Like back then, I don’t remember, but people didn’t have smartphones and people didn’t really have like the access computer or the internet like we do now. But I saw the potential back then because obviously a lot of people have access to the computers and, and it’s all over the world. So why not create a business that I can make income at all hours in a day, as long as I promote myself and get these memberships that are recurring every month. So all I have to do is just keep up with the content. And that’s actually how I started my, um, my entrepreneurship. And so I was, um, making a large amount of money back then cause it wasn’t that popular. And also, I think Asian girls with curvy bodies were, were like, um, you know, we weren’t that emblazoned on the internet or a TV. So I was kind of like an anomaly to a lot of verbose out there. Um, but, uh, I’ve had the most amazing fans that have been so supportive all my career and I owe a lot to them. And, um, and yeah, so that’s actually how I started, uh, my first business.
Apple: 22:13 Huh. How are you, how are you marketing that site now? Are you like making people aware of it?
Christine: 22:17 Uh, I used to work with, um, uh, my webmaster who has, he’s now in the Philippines, but he’s still a good friend of mine and he’s no longer in the business, but he was working closely with Playboy and Maxim and what they did before, since there were no, um, you know, um, social medias and tumblers and stuff like that. I used to have, uh, um, I’m gonna call thumbnail pages and they’re called thumbnail pages because they offer like, uh, uh, like a website. It’s like a website page that has, um, free content.
Christine: 22:51 If people see it, it’s kind of like he’s a little freebie and then they join it. Oh, they click it and it takes them to the websites. So he would actually create thumbnail pages for different affiliate sites. And, uh, that’s how, uh, I got a lot of traffic because, you know, the affiliate sites obviously want free content. So I had, um, you know, batches all my shoots that had five free content of each set and it was dispersed to different, um, larger websites like Maxim and Playboy and stuff like that. So it was a lot harder back then. Now You just scroll on Instagram and just add people. But before people actually had to go in searching mind you. Uh, but the good thing about back then is, um, it wasn’t so saturated, so I was able to really capitalize on the market early on and benefit from it.
Christine: 23:46 And also the knowledge that I gained at 19 on eCommerce is priceless because people nowadays, they’re just kind of getting into it. And, um, you know, it’s, it’s such an amazing time for people to start doing business. Um, but I’m really glad that I was able to get all of that knowledge at 19. So now at 36, I can, I can run online businesses like sleeping with the back of my hand with my eyes closed. Um, but that actually took a lot of, um, uh, backend work on actually getting my sites myself and, um, staying on top of content. Because you know, when you don’t, you’re just like with any business, if you don’t stay consistent with your product, people will either, um, you know, log off or another subscription or won’t return. It’s not just with sexy websites, it’s with every single type of business.
Christine: 24:43 Then even nowadays, I still stress out on content. I’m like, because I get, I get really, really afraid of disappointing my fans and, um, you know, just not producing because I’m just so used to doing that. So I like that. I’ve learned that type of work. I think, um, early on. So although I didn’t have a formal education, I didn’t go to college, I got like an up close and personal look at business and, um, even just dealing with people. So, um, that was, I guess you could say that’s actually the best education for me because I actually got to experience, um, you know, the do’s and the don’ts and the what worked and what didn’t. So
Apple: 25:29 absolutely. So I kind of want to fast forward to today. Um, so could you fill our listeners in on like what is, what’s your core business model right now? Today, I’m coming from where you were at 19 to now. Here you are at 36. Um, I’m curious. Yeah, where, where that looks right now.
Christine: 25:46 Um, well back then I was a lot more focused on just making money because, you know, like growing up and not having it and also being, you know, bashed and judged for not going to school and not having an education. People were like, Oh, you’re a whore. Um, you’re stupid, you’re an idiot. Um, you know, like you’re all you’re good for is just your tits. Like I go, I’ve heard it all. And um, you know, it hurts because it’s like people don’t really realize what people go through and why they make the decisions they do. If I had a normal upbringing, I probably would’ve loved going to college. Can I still want to get an education even at my age now, but having to deal with all of that and then going into an industry where I was uncomfortable at first because I’m not, I am a shy I’m normally a very shy person.
Christine: 26:41 Um, so I wasn’t that of person to be like, Oh, I’m here. It was like, Oh, I just want to work and go home. So, um, that’s actually why I started a business online versus going to castings and going to photoshoots because I don’t like to be out and about. I just don’t really have, um, I’m not a very social person. That’s fine. Like, like, especially I didn’t want to do it for work every day. And back then, I mean, even still nowadays, like people have to go to castings all day, sit there, and deal with a room full of a hundred people and then talk to a panel who is either creepy or judgy or rude or, you know, like you’re just dealing with all these personalities and everyone’s getting for one position. And I didn’t want to be a part of that rat race. It’s not that I thought that I was too good.
Christine: 27:34 It was more like I’m uncomfortable. I don’t want to do comfortable people like sitting in a room full of people that you’re try to buy for one position. People aren’t very nice to you, you know? And I just was like, I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to be happy and alone or be with people that are nice to me. So I started my business and, um, I still actually work with my photographer who used to shoot me at 19 money because he has been, Oh no, actually I met him when I was 20. I’m sorry. I have to tell her at 20. He has been like only photographer for my sites since I was 20. And the reason why is I’m just very, I’m very loyal to, uh, the people that are good to me and I don’t like to deal with tons of people because I just, I’ve never, um, you know, because during my upbringing, I just always had been kind of like a loner.
Christine: 28:32 But I’m happy about that now because I have a very genuine relationships with people. Yeah. That, that actually is why I delved into online businesses and modeling versus actually going and getting, you know, other jobs. And people actually would bash me for that because they would say, Oh, all you’re going for is showing your tits online, blah, blah, blah, blah. Why don’t she go and do a movie? Or why don’t you do like these other jobs that these other girls are doing? And I’m like, if you guys only really knew like what these girls had to do to get these types of jobs and get them consistently, you know, like all, like in the news you hear about producers being creepy and molesting people and that’s actually real. And I just didn’t want to be a part of that, that group for, I just wasn’t, I wasn’t that desperate to be famous, you know, I knew that money could be made elsewhere without having to compromise my own dignity.
Christine: 29:37 And when I see that people kind of laugh and they’re like, well, they’re naked. Your movies are all out. Um, but they don’t really realize like when I do work, it’s just my shell. It’s just my appearance. But who I am outside of my website and my content, um, is a totally different person. I’m a loner. I like, I’m a very, uh, just the very simple loner girl. And that’s why I only shot with Bryan, like, Bryan will and my photographer because I only felt comfortable with him. So we would shoot like 20 sets and trickle them down as content and then I would only see him maybe, um, the next month or two, she’d another 20 sets. And that was my job. Um, I didn’t have to be a part of anything that damaged me or would attack me or even just being in a situation that had negative energy, I just didn’t want any parts of it.
Christine: 30:33 So when people look at these girls on TV and he’s, um, other magazines and they see them do all of this consistent work, that’s great. And you know, a lot of them actually deserve their work. We have great managers, agents, but the other side of the, these types of girls who weren’t constantly out there working, um, they’re actually doing, uh, way more than just showing up to work, you know? And, and I just saw the demise from that because once they get old, they don’t have money. They don’t have a backup plan, they don’t have a business and they’re just kind, kinda snapped. And it happens all the time. That’s why they have all these like gossip magazines and these celebrity tabloids talking about people who are bad with their money because they spent their entire life, um, blowing it and um, not really thinking about the future.
Christine: 31:30 After those looks fade and after your desire to the public or whoever’s hiring you, it’s gone absolutely easy because they’re good looking now. Um, so yeah, that was, uh, my journey into modeling. So after that I, um, made a ton of money and I lost the type of money business because I use the money that I made and I invested it into several businesses that, um, uh, were brick and mortars because I didn’t, I wanted to, you know, back then I had a chip on my shoulder because although I was, although I knew who I am inside, I still cared about what my family thought and what people thought because, you know, I spent a lot of time alone. So when people used to tell me that, Oh, internet is nothing, and then, you know, that’s just a real business as a, as a business you can walk into, even though it’s not like it’s that back then don’t realize like the power of the internet.
Christine: 32:35 And they actually bashed me for not having a brick and mortar. So I ended up investing into a brick and mortar because I’m wanting to show that I could do it. And I was still very young. I was in my early twenties. I invested into Lars, uh, restaurant lounges. Um, last year I had a cannabis, uh, um, um, clothing boutique and different little things that I thought that, um, would make me feel like, like, like, well, not, not last year, but when I first invested in it. So my first brick and mortar, I did it more so out of ego because I wanted to prove that I was smart, where I was successful and I didn’t really do it the right way. I didn’t. Um, I think I just did it like just to prove something and, uh, I wasn’t very smart with that investment and I lost a lot of money a lot, so I actually had to start over and, um, rebuild myself because investing into that, I kind of put all of my eggs in one basket.
Christine: 33:43 She’s really excited to, to, uh, be a, um, a bar owner, a restaurant. Lauren. I just was like, yeah, that’s me. Um, because also, back then the stigma of a woman owning a bar, which just what? Like w one, the adult one bars. And I think I was just so fueled by everyone that has hurt me and said I couldn’t do it. I just wanted to do it. And, but that was coming from an unhealthy unhealed part of me. It wasn’t coming from a place of love where I wanted to succeed because I was happy. And this is my thing. It came from trying to prove people wrong from them telling me all that shit since I was a kid, high school into adult life and, and doing, you know, my risk game modeling, people just all, um, not people, but people that were closest to me, um, well just basically shit on me.
Christine: 34:37 So I was like, okay, well I’m going to prove it. So I did. I opened a brick and mortar, lost lots of money and uh, rebuilt myself and then, um, opened my other businesses after. But, um, going through that experience, I realized that business is great. Like you can make a ton of money. You can go and help provide for your family. Um, you can go and do things that you never imagined that you could do. Just cause money. Everyone needs money. But the thing is is if you’re making a ton of money and you don’t know how to, um, invest it or save it, then you’re always going to constantly be in that rat race. And that sucks, you know? And also, um, when people make a lot of money that doesn’t equate happiness. And I think a lot of people think like, Oh, you know, I’m going to go and, and be a millionaire and I’m going to be happy.
Christine: 35:36 Like, no, it’s not always like that. Yeah. I wasn’t happy when I made the most money in my career, like the times when I made the most money and my career, um, was probably my most depressing toxic times and I immersed myself in work because I just didn’t want to feel and I just was so unhealthy because I was a robot just trying to prove something to people that don’t really care. You know, like I could literally save rural hunger and the same people would be like, well, where your boobs out, sorry, is you can’t please everybody. And even if you want to make millions of dollars, you still won’t be happy if you don’t do that internal work to get there. Because obviously I had all these issues and traumas that hurt me and money and popularity and um, you know, people like being nice to me because I was this model that was everything I thought, I wanted when I was younger.
Christine: 36:43 Now I’m, you know, a mother now and I’m older and I’m like that that was toxic actually because I wasn’t happy. It wasn’t fixing the root of the problem. So with that said, I, um, you know, I invested into a cannabis club and um, that was great cause I love the whole holistic healing. Um, and it was called Buddha brothers holistic center, so basically all on, um, holistic healing. But, um, I resonated more with CBD because CBD is such an amazing medicine and I don’t know if you guys, your viewers know much about it, but it is such a healthy medicine for our bodies and it’s helped me with my anxiety. I had PTSD, depression, like all of these things that I was struggling with since I was a child. Um, obviously manifested insomniacs an adult and I started taking CBD and I started healing and sort of finding a lot more peace, um, with who I, who I am, who I was.
Christine: 37:49 Um, my past I started finding peace with, um, my, my family and my friends. And it wasn’t just CBD by the way. It was also a lot of the work that I was doing for myself to get there. But CBD help balance my, my moves and my brain. So I actually want to live a healthier lifestyle as a thing clear without, you know, being too LA upset or emotional over things. And, um, that’s seeing how it’s helped me, um, help me live a healthy, healthier lifestyle. I decided to sell the dispensary and, um, move forward with the CBD, so I went full blast on CBD. Um, and rather than have a dispensary brick mortar that’s gone selling CBD strictly online, but nothing has, it’s funny because what I thought before was not look like I was told him that online businesses back then were lucrative or it wasn’t a, you need a brick and mortar to now being at this point in my life, not wanting a brick and mortar because I’ve been there and you know, it’s expensive.
Christine: 39:04 It’s a lot of work and there’s a lot of legalities and you know, staff versus, um, you know, yeah. I just think it’s funny now that I’m, I am actually back to just strictly online and, um, it’s just funny how things work because, uh, now everything kind of just came full circle. So since I have started this CBD journey, I said, I just don’t want to do anything more than help people because seeing that I’ve been able to heal and also, um, find some peace and closure. I wanted to continue to have a business that will help people. And so now rather than just focusing on CBD, um, I want it to go a step further and just actually a focus on women because I wanted to be able to, um, be that voice and that person that I wish I had growing up. And, um, you know, I think it’s important because especially with these younger girls who are developing a lot more faster nowadays and the pressures of social media and the constant bullying and then all these pressures to look a certain way because of celebrities and, and people that are always blasting like, Oh, you need a Lamborghini or you need to have these things to be cool.
Christine: 40:31 Um, I love the fact that I could tell someone that through experience, um, it’s not all that you would imagine. And you know, even like, um, younger kids that I know, like my nieces and nephews, like they just always want the cool things that they see their favorite YouTube stars have and these matchings and you know, like having a safe home. I feel like real estate is a good business investment. Having a beautiful and safe column is important. If you can achieve that, um, just because it gives you a lot of, um, clarity and you sleep, eat and rest there and your home should be your sanctuary. So when people always see like, Oh, I need this car, or I need this jewelry, I always tell people like, you need to invest in to either yourself, well, if it’s healing and your happiness invested into new business or in essence your education or invest in to a home.
Christine: 41:29 And if you can’t buy a home, make wherever you live in your home. So rather than go and buy, you know, shoes that you don’t need except your room to make it look like your sanctuary. And it kind of puts you in the right mindset of the goal that you want to get to. You know, and when you’re living in it in your home, whether it’s in a cardboard box, you can still make that cardboard box look like you know, a beautiful room and imagine, cause you know, all it takes is some nice bathing, clean up your room a little bit. But, um, investing in to yourself is the key because I think kids nowadays and people are so pressured to look a certain way and their way, have certain things. And I’ve had a lot of cars that had a lot of fancy luxury cars and uh, those are actually gave me more headache than it did.
Christine: 42:28 No cool points because it’s just wasn’t my style. But back then I thought that that was something I wanted. Um, so having a simple life for me now, uh, feels really good because it’s all, all I’ve ever wanted was stability, uh, family and um, you know, peace and happy happiness in a comfortable environment, which I never had. Um, and, uh, I am excited to start, um, talking to other women with face and body because I just feel like a lot of other people out there, they haven’t really experienced the ups and downs, um, and are open with it. And a lot of these people online, they want to portray this perfect personality, that everything is perfect from head to toe every day is, is amazing. And that’s just not reality. That’s not being human. Um, and I think it’s important to, to tell women, especially women like myself who have a similar background, um, that I would have broken many times.
Christine: 43:41 And, um, you know, like I had to actually make the steps to heal myself, although I did try to heal it with work and making money. I actually may be more depressed. So I always tell people that, um, the internal work is so important no matter if it’s painful and you have to revisit things and, and both open scars and wounds to just heal properly. That’s important because you’re not gonna fully heal unless you do it now. Um, and it can take months and years, but as long as you’re taking, you’re taking that step and going through that process, um, it’ll happen for you. You’ll find peace. Um, cause I know so many people who are like old, like 90, who are still the same people, Carter ring carding the same trauma around from their childhood. And you know, they don’t really, they kind of die still unhealed. And that’s just a sad way to live life.
Apple: 44:51 I think a lot of young people especially, they think there’s like some magic number that once they hit it, like once they’re making this much money or once they’re like doing this many things or have this car, they think they will have like, made it or like feel that satisfaction. But I mean it sounds like from your experience, that definitely wasn’t the case.
Christine: 45:07 No. I, you know, the instant gratification, I will say like getting finally getting something, but you didn’t think you’d ever get yeah, that I would say I had, I was like, Oh my gosh, I actually have this. Um, but after maybe a day it was like buyer’s remorse, you know? But it wasn’t that serious and it actually became more of a bill than it was something that helped me in my lifestyle. Um, it was more getting more anxiety to like drive a Bentley, worried that, you know, the leather is going to be scratched by my jacket zipper or a ring, you know, insurance on that thing is crazy and just people ding your car just because they’re rushing. And I didn’t want to have to deal with that. So I actually had more anxiety because, you know, in reality, I’m very, very frugal with myself.
Christine: 46:00 I don’t like to spend a lot of money. So I think a lot of the things I’ve spent a lot on were just driven by ego and insecurity because I was not happy. And, um, so yeah, I would get anxiety like driving a nice car and I drive like shit. Like I, I can find every pothole in the city now. We’ll go over it twice though. And it actually made me feel worse. So, um, yeah, getting rid of my Bentley. Um, I actually, um, my husband was like, no, I don’t want you to get rid of it cause he’s into cars. He’s a car guy. And I said, I just can’t, I don’t want it anymore. It reminds me of like the person that I, I was unhealed. And if people like my stings, they can, you know, you’re entitled to have them look, my husband, he has nice things cause that’s his style, not for me.
Christine: 46:54 I’m just not a person. And it gave me more anxiety and I just hated to spend money on insurance and maintenance and all that. So when I sold it, I took it and I invested it into real estate. And my husband was like, no, like he loves cars and he’s like the opposite of me. He’s very like, he likes those things. And um, but you know, like I said, I don’t judge people that do, because obviously I’m married to that person that loves material items, but I can see that, um, it’s, it’s not the core foundation of what makes someone happy. It can be your style, but you actually have to do an inner work to be happy and he’s got his inner work. So that’s his style and he’s cool. But, um, investing it into real estate after I proved the point because I had a Bentley that was depreciating value every second it sat in my garage.
Christine: 47:51 I probably drove it once a month and I invested in real estate and property, um, tripled in value within six months. So I made money rather than lost money having, um, um, a depreciating car. So, so that’s a, that’s a, um, something I’ve learned with, uh, my progress is that I’m smart, uh, investments, um, can actually help you in the future rather than looking cool now because it’s just not worth it. The right people who will, um, love you for you will come into your life. And the people that only want to be around when they see that you have things or you’re, uh, making money are people that are probably just trying to use you and have ulterior motives and, um, you don’t really want to deal with that. Just not pointless.
Apple: 48:49 That is the truth. Well, Christina, you’ve been dropping a, an amazing amount of value on our listeners today and I’m extremely grateful for that. Where can they go to follow up with you and learn more about what you’re doing on both on the personal side and then with face and body as well.
Christine: 49:02 You can go to facenbawdy.com It’s f a c e n b a w d y.com. You can find my podcast. It’s Bawdy Talk with Christine Mendoza. It’s on Apple, Spotify, Google, basically all the streaming, um, platform And we’re also on Instagram @facenbawdy and at facenbawdy.com.
Apple: 49:31 Awesome. I’ll be sure to link up all those in the show notes for our listeners. Christine, again, I’m extremely grateful for you and your time. Do you have any last parting thoughts, words of wisdom or anything you want to share with the listeners?
Christine: 49:42 You know, I think I’ve actually said a lot. I’m talking super fast, everything in. But I’m just really excited that you have this audience of younger people. And I love being able to share my downfalls and experiences and just not as you get older. The internal work is important and you being young start now. Because you don’t want to be like me and old lady having to have kids to start my work, you know? So it’s important. Always try to put your mental, emotional health first before anything else. Because like I said, it’s just gonna keep alright around through life. And I was very, very old when I finally started healing. I wish I had this knowledge when I was younger. So put yourself first always.
Apple: 50:38 That is the truth. Thank you so much, Christine. I really do appreciate you being here on the show.
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